"A drunk mind speaks a sober heart". I call bullshit.
Updated: Nov 20, 2019
Malcolm Gladwell argues that alcohol is not “an agent of disinhibition” but “an agent of myopia” for which “short-term considerations loom large, and more cognitively demanding, longer-term considerations fade away”.
This is something I remember enjoying about drinking, but now looking back on it it makes me sad. When we are intoxicated, all we are focused on is the present moment, not about the future or future consequences. It's almost a scapegoat or a backdoor. It made me feel that I could act however I wanted or say whatever I wanted in the moment because in the morning I could just use the excuse of "sorry, I was drunk". The problem with this is that those actions and words in the moment do actually have long term affects. Your action and behaviors don't just magically disappear because you were drunk and acting like a fool. Words and actions hold power and people remember. I also don't believe in the idea that "A drunk mind speaks a sober heart". I think that's absolute bullshit.
Some things I've done/said while drunk:
- physically hurt somebody I cared about
- told myself and others that I didn't want to live anymore
- called a nurse who was helping me the C word
- put myself and others in danger by driving
- told somebody I cared about that I hated them
These are all things I would never do sober because they are not in line with who I am as a person.
"The fact is that drunkenness is not a passive process. It does not simply tear down our inhibitions and let loose desires that were already there. It is an active chemical process, counter-intuitively fitting the definitions of "stimulant" and "depressant". It changes nearly every part of our brain. Since our brain is who we are, alcohol does not simply let out our true, unchanged selves. It changes who we are."
Whenever I've had blackouts in the past, I've had several people tell me that my eyes changed. They told me that my eyes turned dark, almost black and empty. Not only did my physical appearance change, but my words and behaviors did also. That's because alcohol is a toxin. When I look at it from a spiritual place, I see it as as my spirit "checking out" and another "checking in".
"That is why people who consume excessive amounts of alcohol often black out, not remembering what happened. This happens when the good soul (we were sent here with) leaves because the living conditions are too polluted and too traumatic to tolerate. The good soul jettisons the body, staying connected to a tether, and a dark entity takes the body for a joy ride around the block, often in a hedonistic and self-serving illogical rampage. Our bodies are cars for spirits. If one leaves, another can take the car for a ride. Essentially when someone goes dark after drinking alcohol or polluting themselves in many other ways, their body often becomes possessed by another entity.”
The idea of this honestly terrifies me. I believe that alcohol is 100% sinister. It took me a very long time, a lot of research and hearing hundreds of real life stories about how alcohol has ruined lives, for me to really understand this. I also feel that anyone who drinks, deep down in the depth of their hearts, even if they aren't ready to admit it yet, aren't happy with their relationship with alcohol. That's because all of the benefits we tell ourselves that we get from alcohol are false beliefs. These false beliefs are the reasons we continue on the repetitive cycle of destruction. This is why my door is always open. It took me YEARS of trying and failing to quit drinking until it FINALLY stuck. I see so many people who are in similar shoes as I was, but aren't quite ready to take a look at their drinking habits. It can be terrifying looking at yourself in the mirror. It can be terrifying picking yourself apart. It can be terrifying thinking of living life without your crutch. I don't believe that people have to hit rock bottom to make a change, but unfortunately, that what it will take for most. When that happens, I am always here to listen to peoples story and invite them to join our community of loving, supportive, compassionate and understanding humans.
I often imagine a world absent of alcohol and wonder what it would be like. Evil will always be present, but I think that without the bandaid or crutch that is alcohol we would all be forced to face our wounds and find ways to really truly heal them instead of cover them up or avoid/numb them. We would all have the ability to live as our true and RAW selves.
I want to know you.
The real you.
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