The Importance of Clarity, Connection and Love.
I often think about is how it feels like there is a large majority of the population who is unhappy, sad, depressed, or feeling like they are living a life without purpose. I used to be one of those people. This is a subject that is very important to me and I just wanted to take a moment to write down some thoughts.
I want to start with this:
I have a love-hate relationship with social media. Watching it progress the way it has so quickly has had me feeling both excited, and defeated at times. There is a side of me that sees the potential and opportunity we all have to create and share anything we want with others all over the world through social media. We have this powerful platform that allows us to spread our word, our business, our passions with just a click of a button. We can share, connect and build a community from the comfort of our bed. On the other side of the coin, I see the negative patterns like people feeling a large chunk of their self-worth coming from social media or like their life on social media is so much more fun or entertaining than their actual life. It messes with our expectations of life and relationships, and this part of it I do not love. People will sometimes ask me how I built a following on social media, and I giggle to myself because these are the kind of social media questions can sound so silly to me at times. I don't have a huge following, but I have put a lot of time and effort into building it. Why? Because I am extremely competitive and I pay attention to trends. I have a fear of being left behind, and there was no way I wasn't going to learn how to utilize this tool, even when in the beginning I had no idea what I wanted to use it for.
But now, I feel a huge sense of clarity on it's purpose in my life and that purpose is connection and sharing my stories, so that you in turn feel comfortable sharing yours.
Each time I share a post online, I have people reach out to me sharing even just a little glimpse into their life and what they are currently struggling with and this to me makes it all worth it.
Connection. Community. That's what it's all about.
The people that know me, reach out because they see the changes I am making. They see who I used to be, and appreciate who I am becoming.
To those of you who don't know me, I want you to know that I am not proud of who I used to be, but I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to become who I am now.
I used to be a heavy, heavy, drinker. Like, blackout every night kind of drinker. And let me tell you. People don't drink to the point of blackout unless they are hiding feelings and emotions they don't want to deal with. Sometimes in the moment we don't even realize that is what we are doing. I was running from the pain and emotions of past experiences that I didn't even realize I was suppressing. I was not living a life authentic to myself and I had created a literal prison within myself. When we aren't living our true purpose, it can feel like we are being suffocated and it's extremely hard to understand that this is the cause of it. This can come in so many forms.
Not dealing with suppressed emotions.
Not feeling like you are able to express your truth.
Working a job that isn't in alignment with you as a human.
Enabling toxic relationships.
Being fearful of the judgement of others.
Ultimately, not allowing yourself to be who you were meant to be. When this happens, we start to feel disconnected from ourself and out of sync in all aspects of our lives. It can become overwhelming, extremely confusing, and sometimes can lead to feelings of desperation.
This is why I push people so hard to just be themselves. We are so extremely fearful of being judged by others for living our truth and I refuse to let anybody feel that way in my presence.
I started drinking alcohol when I was in middle school. I worked in nightlife for 6 years and during that time lost all sense of myself. I've had unfortunate things happen to me where I felt like I lost all control and power over myself and my life. I've hurt people. I've been selfish. I've been self destructive. I still struggle with feelings of shame over the person that I used to be. I like weird things like aliens and conspiracy theories. I stay up way too late some nights falling down the rabbit hole that is reddit. I sometimes feel extremely insecure. I too have the ability to care too much about what others think. I still get depressed for no reason.
These are just a few things. And each of these has an entire, deep, deep story of it's own. We as humans are so complex and have so much depth in our stories and experiences. I want to uncover these things within myself and within others. To me, that is the purpose of our life here on Earth. To communicate, to connect, to learn, to DO THE WORK and to grow. If we don't then what the fuck is the point of this all?
That was totally just an early morning rant. But I hope that we can build from it. Let's gain some momentum and let's break through these barriers. Together.
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