Setting Clear Boundaries
Updated: Nov 20, 2019
This year was the year of learning to set boundaries. An easy enough idea in theory, but when it comes to implementing, it can become exhausting. In the early stages of life it's more difficult because we are still unsure of who we are and what we want, so boundaries are a little unclear. I am 26 and still trying to figure this shit out, but as I get older, one thing is becoming more clear- we MUST set boundaries and expectations in order to get what we want out of life and relationships.
This is coming from the easy going, laid back, go with the flow, "we can do whatever you want" type of friend. My tolerant attitude had caused me to attract people who are the exact opposite. It's a perfect match right? One person makes all of the decisions, and the other goes along with it to avoid conflict. It worked for a while until I realized that my opinion matters, and started using my voice. Well let me tell you something. When you allow those type of people to step on you for so long, and then one day you decide to stand up for yourself and have a voice, 9 times out of 10 it isn't going to go over well. They are already set in their ways, and honestly, you chose that unhealthy friendship from the beginning.
Once you improve yourself, you improve your standards, your friendships, and your expectations. The hardest thing I've had to learn is that sometimes it's necessary to walk away. I've always viewed certain friendships the same as relationships and I never wanted to just give up without putting in the effort to try to fix it first. I had to understand that there is a difference between giving up and realizing your worth. I now know what I deserve and have a clean slate to start fresh on. Moving forward, I set boundaries and expectations, and if somebody doesn't respect those boundaries, they don't respect me.
I am no longer afraid to say no and I will not apologize for drawing a line in the sand. My life, my boundaries.
** If you are sober, or curious about sobriety, we would love for you to join our Facebook group - Mindful Times Facebook Community for support, encouragement, accountability and questions.
Private Sobriety Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/511982812958932/ Instagram: @mindfultimes.co YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkuFw-9D4vZejJatNaT1e0Q Website: https://www.mindfultimes.co/ Podcast: https://www.mindfultimes.co/podcast-1
The Mindful Times podcast can also be found on any major podcast streaming platform (iTunes, Spotify etc.) or you can click the "Podcast" tab in the menu at the top of this page.